Monday, April 22, 2013

Hives Recurrence Scare - and Confessions of Hives Anxiety

Yesterday, I had a "scare" that my hives were returning. I had what looked like a hive on my neck, and also had a few red blotches on my left palm (looked exactly like the red blotches that appeared before this whole thing started; see my post here.). I started to get very anxious, which made my skin get very flushed and a little bit rashy. A few hours later, the blotches on my left palm were completely gone -- the blotches I had last summer were there 24/7 for several days before the hives kicked in. I also noticed that the "hive" on my neck looked like it could be a bug bite or something else. In fact, 24 hours later, it is still there but lighter; hives usually are gone after 8 hours at their longest life, from what I have experienced. This has caused me to reflect on my anxiety that surrounds the dreaded hives. Why do I fear them so much? Why do I dread the thought of them appearing? As my husband says, "They are just hives, they are not going to hurt you." I break it down into a few things:
  • Loss of control -- As a type-A person, I am someone who thrives on figuring out solutions to problems and showing how I can excel in that capacity. This has caused me to spend countless hours seeing specialists, getting tests and labwork done, trying different drugs, and researching exhaustively to come up with the solution. So far, there have been no solutions, despite my best efforts. This is very frustrating to someone who is wired like me, "why can't I figure this out!!" It has been humbling and frustrating, and I don't like it one bit! (imagine a pouty face here.)
  • Inhibits my lifestyle -- Some may argue that this has more to do with my attitude about the hives, but really it isn't. On a 90-degree humid day, I need to stay inside because the heat and sweating will lead to a significant outbreak, which leads to massive itchiness and feeling generally miserable. This prevents me from staying out too long in the summer to enjoy summer activities in the heat. It means that I can't wear things that show skin where hives are spotting me (okay well, I CAN wear them, but who would want to?). It means traveling to warm, tropical places for vaction is likely a bad idea. I am supposed to travel for my job, and I have found reasons to not do this as much. It also means that sweaty exercise is off the table too.
  • Raises questions about my health -- Because I know I have an autoimmune issue (Hashimoto's), it makes me wonder if there is something "more serious" happening under the covers that is not yet understood by the medical community. It whispers to me, and sometimes screams at me, that something is wrong with me compared to others who aren't afflicted with this. It makes me feel "wrong" and broken.
  • Creates confusion -- I don't know where to turn to for help. Dermatologist or Allergist? Allergist or Endocrinologist? Or maybe a Naturopath? Or Holistic doctor? Should I experiment with my diet? Is it my medications? I have tried pretty much all of the above, and it feels like you are on a merry-go-round visiting each repeatedly for help and support and possible new insights. And you are also thinking of yet new ideas to pursue or new things to look into.
  • Unpredictability -- Aside from predicting that high heat and sweating will trigger them, you never know what you are going to get each day. Will it be one? None? Several? Where will they be, on my face? Hands? Neck? Will they fade fast, or will they multiply throughout the day? Should I make dinner plans? Travel plans? I have gone sometimes several weeks with none, thinking that they are gone, then they magically appear again one day. I have gone 4.5 months now with none (maybe), and I am worrying they are going to return any day now.
So I continue to work on my own anxiety issues related to the hives, and this is an ongoing battle and lots of work still to do there. I would love to hear if anyone else can relate, and how they have learned to cope!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Still No Hives, Flowers Cause Small Rash, Flushing Reduced

So, I'm at 4.5 months now of no hives. I got them in early June last year, so we shall see what happens over the next 1.5-2 months. Still not taking any antihistamines.
However, today after pulling some old flowers out of a vase to throw them out, shortly after I had a small rash appear on my fingers of that hand -- even after washing my hands almost right away. I have to assume it is from the flowers, because nothing else about today was different. The rash is now finally fading after almost 9 hours. (I didn't take anything for it or use any creams though.)
I just wanted to point it out because it might just show my high degree of allergic response to small things. Guess that means I need to wear gloves when planting and tending to my garden this year!
I am almost 2 weeks into the new oral contraceptive pill now too, and I have noticed a decrease in the flushing and red blotching. However, because it is "early days", I don't want to make any correlation to the medication change just yet. I will assess in a few weeks and post my thoughts on it.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The "Blotch" that started it all!

Today, I had a single, bright red "blotch" (not sure if I would exactly call it a hive, it didn't have that "raised" look to it) front and center on my neck from 7:30 - 10:30 AM. What the hell is that? So random. Wasn't a bug bite either. Just an irregularly bordered circular blotch.

It made me look back in my cell phone's photo gallery to compare it to other blotches and hives and rashes, and I found the blotch that started it all!

Before my CU fully set in, the week prior, I noticed a mysterious red blotch underneath the skin on the palm of one hand:



At first, it didn't itch, then after a few days it started to itch a little. And another one showed up on the same palm. In a few days, I have hives on my wrist of that hand, and on the top of that hand. The CU set in from there. I don't know if anyone else with CU had a similar experience to this. My CU also only ever affected the top half of my body -- from my pantylines (pressure hives) to my head. Never on my legs or feet, even though I would have "pressure" there (shoes, socks) and sweaty areas there too (bottoms of feet, behind knees). I always thought that was curious and somehow meaningful, though the dr's never made much of it.

UPDATE TO THIS POST (JULY 29, 2013)...
Looking back on this post now, with the benefit of hindsight, the red 'blotch' on my neck on the day of this post was most definitely NOT a hive. I think it actually was a little bug bite. Shows you how paranoid you can be after suffering from a bout with chronic hives!! Every little red mark puts you on "HIGH ALERT!!!" :)

Monday, April 1, 2013

Heat rash and flushing continue - bad today. Next trial: birth control pill change?

Well... today was a stressful travel day and I was exposed to some heat.  My husband and I took a nice walk late morning and I got a bit sweaty with the sun being out, and ended up with a nice red rash on one arm and along my bra underwire area. I took a lukewarm shower and that helped to fade them away. Then this evening, after a stressful flight home (very turbulent), I have been getting a mild heat rash on-and-off all evening on my lower left arm of all places. Also my neck has it too.

I have yet another idea for something I am going to try, if the doctor will allow it: changing my oral contraceptive, which I need to use to control my endometriosis and very heavy menstrual flow. So I have an appt tomorrow with my Gyne to discuss this. When I looked back on my journals from last year, the flushing started 2 weeks after I started the pill (and the hives 6 weeks after, though I think the hives are still a separate issue).  And I have been on that same pill this whole past year.  Maybe the hormones have made my skin more reactive and sensitive? So it's worth trying to change to a different one that has a slightly different hormonal make-up, that's my thinking.

One thing that also has me on edge:  I have a small red circle "under the skin" on my left palm.  This was the precursor to the chronic hives last summer. I had one, then a few, then within a week's time, the hives emerged. I am concerned that this means the hives are on their way back.

I still haven't taken any antihistamine since... November, I'd say? So if they return before I start taking any antihistamine, I can rule that out as a cause or trigger, at least.